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AMY'S STORY: by THEA JARVIS
Amy turned 5 last Sunday. But given our financial situation, she doesn't know it and we have postponed her birthday celebrations until we can afford to do it justice.
The day she was born her mother tried to abscond, immediately after giving birth. After counselling, the social worker asked me to take her to the Child Commissioner as soon as possible to sign the baby up for adoption. They were afraid that she would run away before the legalities were done. I rushed over there to find a rather large, young girl of about 18 who had cried so much, her eyes were swollen almost shut. She had no clothes. They had been stolen from her locker during the night. But because the nurses were angry with her, they made me take her to Court in her hospital nighty. As she sat in the car sobbing silently, I could feel her pain so tangibly I had to turn my face away from her so that she would not see my own tears. She refused to talk to me at all. I never heard her voice once.
We found an adoptive family for Amy quickly. But they did an AIDS test (PCR) and found that she was an AIDS baby and they brought her back to TLC. They really wanted a well baby for adoption. We had another TLC family who fostered AIDS children at the time. They offered to take Amy into long-term foster care. Unfortunately, after nearly 4 years, this family had a crisis and Amy was returned to TLC.
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Amy took the move very badly. She mourned the loss of what she believed was her very own family. She had known them since she was a tiny baby. She went through all those painful stages. Crying, mourning, withdrawal, anger and then finally a very sad resignation. This is one of the hardest things to help a child through. That loss leaves a wound that seldom finds complete healing. It's the reason I hate foster care with an absolute passion. Adoption, as far as I am concerned, is the only real option for a child that offers long-term security.
Today, Amy is beginning to regain her self confidence and is a happy child once more. Unfortunately, AIDS is beginning to take its toll. She, like all our AIDS children, is on anti-retrovirals and under the care of an excellent AIDS paediatrician. But she is not responding as well as the others. Amy is also the subject of much prayer. It is a very hard thing ... and not something a mother can do very well ... to try and raise a dying child! There is just too much constant pain of knowing that she is unlikely to win the battle, except for a miracle.
But then there is the comfort of knowing that Amy, like all children, deserves to have somebody who will shoulder this cross with her. I often wonder how these dying AIDS children in large, impersonal institutions cope, carrying that enormous burden of pain and anxiety by themselves. It's what I use to remind myself that it's selfish to consider my own heartache. Amy's life is made bearable by the strength and protection I can provide for her every day. And there are 45 others in my home who need that same strength and comfort from me. |
 Amy and Dominique |
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